the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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