The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
