Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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