he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
