so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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