Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
