i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize