I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
