her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
