He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
