Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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