You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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