I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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