I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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