Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
