why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
