I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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