You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
