After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dicks are not precious.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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