I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
