I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
