dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
