so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
