So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
