Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This baby is an asshole
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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