Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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