No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
