why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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