Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober