You're my little dorito
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
