I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
