if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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