JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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