in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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