I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
