all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
