You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
