Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
