In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
