had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
