it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
