Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
