shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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