Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
