Don't make out with my wife yet
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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