i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
