where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
