we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
