i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
