I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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