you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
