Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
