was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
