First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
