It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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