so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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