I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
