ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
