i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
