guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
