we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
