I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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