It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
